ginkage

 Is this thing on? Oh, it is? I'm live? All righty then...

Hello, fruitbats of the internet. I know it's been a dreadfully long time since I've journaled in any form. I admit that posting tiny of-the-moment thoughts to my Facebook page takes less time and effort. Also, I don't store things up to spew them in my good old critical-mass moments. But I also know that some folks choose not to use Facebook and thus haven't heard from me in a while. 

I'm alive. Let's start there. Alive, getting healthier, working through stuff. I was diagnosed as diabetic last September. Since then, I've cut my numbers in half, dropped over 40lbs, and quit the job I'd been working for four years. The stress was literally going to kill me if I kept going. My blood pressure alone dropped like a stone in the month after I quit. I was borderline hypertensive and at a stroke risk before, now I'm not. In fact, last week I got okayed to cut my meds in half. 

A month or two after I quit, I started a different job doing inventory counting for a national company. It's... not all it's cracked up to be, but I know I can't afford to not be working. Nothing has materialized on the front of getting a job as a pharmacy technician. Even with my schooling, most hospitals or care centers won't hire without prior experience... and the schooling meant I was apparently overqualified to work at CVS or such (they want you to go through -their- training, first). Due to monetary concerns, I had to let my certifications lapse, but I'm working at getting them back. I spend a lot of time after shifts at work in relative discomfort due to sciatica, but I try not to let it get me down too much. There are always good days and bad days. 

I'm still chainmailling. Even though my sales seem to only happen at the couple of conventions I'm doing a year. I've got one of those coming up next weekend (Otakon) and have been prepping for that. So much to do and so little time! I had a lot of help in coming up with the funds for my own hotel room this year, but I made it. Now I just have to get through that weekend! I hope sales are good. If you want something pretty, check out irodama.net (main site) or irodama.etsy.com for stuff I have available. I'm taking time out of making things today to post this. :)

I'm slowly getting back into drawing, too. It's a nice offset to the other creativity. Beyond that, I play a lot of Minecraft along with occasional stints in World of Warcraft, Star Wars: The Old Republic, and a few others. 

All in all, I'm mostly the most positive I've been in years. As I said, there are good days and bad days, but things could be much worse. 

I'm alive. I'm existing. I don't have much to say right now because I don't want to load a journal full of my complaints at life again.

Missing many people, many things, but having a dearth of energy and motivation.

Love to all.

So. I know it's been a long, long time since I wrote anything on any of my journals. I got sucked into the morass of Facebook along with so many other things. School is going well and I'm in my final term. Hopefully that means thst the hell of a job I've been stuck in will only be a factor fir anither month or two.

That's not the thing that's been on my mind the most of late, though. No... that personal emotional trial has been saved for what I feel is the death of what was a thirteen-year friendship.

It started last summer when two people I cared for very much split up very suddenly. There were bad reactions, bad feelings, and a close friend of mine (a sister nearly) stopped taling to anyone. She hurt her partner, she hurt me (if purely by not talking to me, and wasn't going to be sorry for any of it.

Fast forward to now. Things are still strained. Said friend has not said more than a line or two to me since then. I reached out a time or two but never got answers or much concrete acknowledgement of the growing rift. At one point I was convinced she wasn't even aware of it.

The last message she sent to me wasn't even to me alone. It was a FB post to my mother and I letting us know she was pregnant and due in January. Before that she'd only written us when her cat was shot. I gave politely appropriate responses each time...

She knows how to contact me. I was invited to her baby shower but declined due to work. I didn't feel right going, I couldn't find it in me to make fake smiles. The pictures later hurt enough.

I'm not a part of that world anymore.

I know I don't write much in here these days. I keep forgetting I have it but I do stop by and read from time to time.

Still working at the theater. It's a plod, but it's work.

Still in school. Have 33 weeks or so before I'm done and can get certified and get better work. Some classes are easy, others kick my butt. Plugging along.

Still doing jewelry... but have no orders. I made some lovely pendants lately (available on Etsy) but I get more 'likes' or 'faves' when I've posted it in my various portfolios than I do orders. I keep renewing the offerings in my shop but all I've sold recently is one slave bracelet.

Money's tight. Not going to joke on that. We had to pay extra this morning to get our water turned back on when we paid the bill. I'm taking a weekend to visit my mother but all I can afford out of our plans is putting gas in my car for the trip. I'll probably bring business cards with me in a little baggie and wear my jewelry but there's no guarantee I'll get any nibbles there. I fail horribly at knowing how to promote my work and, right now, I refuse to pay $7 just to plug my stuff on Etsy for $24 hours (or $5 a week to promote it longer).

Still available for commissions of any kind. I can only be so flexible in my fees, but I still think I'm midway between cheap and expensive.

I'm generally frustrated and in a funk, but I keep on chugging along.

(I'm redoing this post because a lot has changed since I first wrote it.)

By now I'm sure that quite a few of you have heard that I'm getting into making chain maille jewelry and attempting to sell my offerings. I haven't had too much luck so far but I put that down to my own nervousness and a lack of advertising know-how. I have had one or two commissions but not enough to make much of a dent.

I'm in very tight straits right now, financially, and could use orders to help offset the cost of, well, living.

I have several pieces all ready to go for sale on my Etsy shop: Irodama @ Etsy.com
I also have a website made up with images of all my commissions and work: Irodama Website.
Thirdly, I have a fanpage on Facebook for my work that acts sort of as a production journal: Irodama @ Facebook

The Etsy site, as I said, has things ready for sale. The website has more pricing info as well as a contact form for sending me requests. You are more than welcome to 'like' the Facebook page and/or use it to send me messages as well (or send them through my own Facebook page. You can even comment to this post and/or send me an email through LJ.

I'm also trying to make as much stock for sale as I can before Katsucon as I am looking to sell at a table there. I don't know how much I'll get done by then but a gal can try!

So. It looks more and more like I won't be able to file my taxes in time to get my refund by Katsucon. This means at least half of my next two paychecks, once they clear, go right into my savings spot. This puts me in more of a crunch than I really wanted to be. This was supposed to be what I jokingly refer to as 'TaxesCon' but I won't be getting my W2 until the first week of February.

I have had very little success in drumming up commissions. Between work and school I have gotten very little made. I can see where all of my free time from now until Katsu is going. I still have the pipe dream of someone choosing to buy a bracelet from me in sterling silver (given that the price of sterling right now makes my head hur)... but it's a pipe dream nonetheless.

I have a feeling this is going to be RamenCon at the very least. *sigh*

I get paid -after- the weekend of the convention so hopefully I won't end the month broke.

It's been a somewhat eventful turn to a new year. I've made a lot of decisions about my life and at least one thing's happened of a sad nature.

I'll get the sad out of the way first. Yesterday my Dad and I had to say goodbye to our eldest cat, Jonathon. I'd figured this would be his last year but had not envisioned it being so soon. He had cancer in his mouth and it had eaten a hole from his palate to his sinuses. Poor baby was in pain, not eating, and Dad and I didn't want him to starve to death. So we took him to the SPCA since they only ask for a $15 donation for putting an animal to sleep. I miss him so much......

Now to the better. Some know already that I'm going back to school. I'm currently in my second term of classes working towards a Pharmacy Tech diploma at National College in Harrisonburg, VA. I'm enjoying things greatly so far and hope this will open doors for me. I think in another term or two I'd feel comfortable asking companies about internship jobs as I will probably have to pay for the last few classes myself.

Also... I've made the decision that this is the year I better myself physically. I've joined a gym, Anytime Fitness, and hope to start a workout program within days. I wanted to do it today but I don't own anything suitable for workouts and I'm down to a very small amount of money in my bank account until Wednesday. Bah.

To that end, I am still actively seeking commissions. My membership is only $35 a month, which I can afford normally, but I want a buffer of sorts if anyone can understand. I can do simple bracelets, earrings, necklaces if I'm given enough time. :) My prices, I think, are reasonable. My website is still HERE and I'm available to work. I am currently making smaller pieces to take with me to Katsucon in February but I have plenty of time for commissions as well!

I know... have sort of forgotten about LJ outside of checking posts here and there.

Things are tight, so I've updated my chain maille post with new(er) info in hopes of garnering a commission or two. See post here.

Any little bit helps. I work a barely above minimum wage hourly job, Dad's on Social Security, so things start to get iffy by the end of the month. Just the way it is. I'd be happy if I could offset it with jewelry work, but I've had one order and one back-out (due to the price of sterling silver) in the past month. I'm not expecting miracles by any means.

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	High
Dysthymia:	Slight-Moderate
Bipolar Disorder:	Slight-Moderate
Cyclothymia:	High-Moderate
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	Moderate
Postpartum Depression:	N/A
Take the Depression Test

I'm not saying this counts as an explanation of most of my foibles, but it did give perhaps a little insight. I keep chugging along, nonetheless.

Getting the big lift of being able to go back to school this fall has helped a lot.

I really, really hate money right now. I'm so tired of worrying about it all the time.

I wish things I put up on Etsy were appealing to more people. Got at least two pairs of earrings, perhaps more, that'd really make a dent in keeping me afloat this month. Waiting for more info on at least one commission.

I wish like hell that I could find decent work. Yes, I know, I could take a temporary move and find something else... but that doesn't help -right now-.

It just keeps feeling like everything is just a hair's breadth out of reach and I can't stretch anymore.